Our mailbox is down the road from our house. On my way up to the house or my way out of our community, I try to remember to grab the mail. Occasionally (often), a few days pass before I grab it.

I had quite a stack of mail that I had separated, leaving a pile of junk mail on my passenger seat of the car that I intended to drop in the recycle bin. It had been there a few days.

I was sitting in the parking structure at the Cathedral, waiting for my dad to call me back. I was going to pick him up from his office and then go get my mom from their house and we were going to go catch a movie.

While I waited, I unrapped my new CD and popped it in.

Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life...

I was singing along, and I noticed an envelope sticking out from under the Pennysaver. A thick white business letter sized envelope.

I saw the return address. One of those do it yourself legal agencies. And I knew.

He filed.

I tore it open, even though I wanted it to not be true.

"Dissolution of Marriage"

Three ugly words.

The world was crashing around me. The music faded and all I could think was, "Please God, no."

to be continued...

It's been a few weeks now.

The day started out wonderfully. I attended a tea at the Cathedral. It was inspiring to be in a room full of women from different faiths, hearing about leading inspirational women whose faith led them to change the world. The most memorable for me was Mother Theresa. The speaker told a story of how she truly had undenying faith that caused things to happen. No room for doubt.

The tour of the cathedral was inspiring to me. The history of Los Angeles and the Church and how the architecture, design, and artwork encompassed the spirit of the people. A wedding was to begin shortly as we began our tour. I remember standing there, watching the bridal party, remembering my own wedding, embracing the feeling that I can so easily recall. Nervousness, excitement, and love rolled into one.

The wall behind the alter is covered with tapestry panels. You really have to look at it to see. The sun with its rays shining down over a map of the city.

The stations of the cross. The murals of saints, religious leaders, and regular people grouped together. Until that day, I mistakenly thought that the Cathedral was for "good" Catholics. That you had to be invited or something. But there it is. Open for anyone. People of all faiths.

The tour ended in the gardens. It was just peaceful.

After, my sister and I shopped at the gift shop. I wanted to buy some tokens of appreciation for a couple of special women in my life who have really been there for me and helped to nurture my spirit during the hard moments for me.

For myself, I bought a CD of the Choir of the Sisters. Mainly because of two of my favorite songs that help lift my spirit - Shepherd Me O God and On Eagle's Wings.

I also picked up and put down and picked up again a book. Prayer in Times of Crisis.

Little did I know that I would need that prayer book just a short time later...

(to be continued)

Today, I am thankful for my friends and family. For my work. For my gifts from above. For all the good in my life. And for all of the struggles that bring me new strength and growth. I am 38 years young and have a new road ahead of me filled with new adventures and blessings.

To those of you still reading... I am thankful that you have stuck with me.

I'm not going anywhere... I intend on posting more often. soon.